Lately I haven’t been responding to everyone’s incredibly kind comments as I usually do (and also those most lovely anonymous messages), so here is an attempt at a less than adequate but hopefully just as genuine all-in-one thank you.
More generally, Thank You to everyone who feels moved to take as much as a passive interest in the meager happenings of my mostly nebulous life and the few little pieces I choose to send out of my mostly withdrawn self.
I hope we can be friends.
Thesis is up on the website.
The profs bought everyone beer after the last critique yesterday. Was a great time, but also a highly emotional evening. The next few months will probably be a kind of slow decompression.
Final Thesis statement turned into a 1400 word mini-essay.
My presentation is either going to go really well or really, really badly.
Could somebody please read this and tell me if it makes sense or if it’s just total bs? I’ve pretty much written about the way I feel, but I unno if its right and stuff and I just want to do good things and feel purposeful.
So, all my profs and advisers are suggesting I push this ambrotype project into a full scale show. They all seem quite taken by the concept and are convinced that, in the context of a show with a very hands-on sort of presentation (e.g. mounted on pedestals like those found in cell phone shops and chain grocery stores), the work could prove very successful. The problem is I’ve only a few more weeks of access to the darkrooms and my the final thesis/critique are very quickly approaching. I’ve no money to make prints—nevermind a proper show—and very little time to make more ambrotypes. In any case (and I can’t believe I’m saying this), I really wish I had an extra month or so of school just to get this shit in order. I suppose all I can do now is push ahead with production and worry about bringing the project further once I have the time and money.
Today’s been a good day.
My thesis adviser seems genuinely interested and excited with the way my work is going, I had lunch with a good friend who would like me to help him put together a solo exhibition in Ryerson’s third floor gallery space (and contribute a text), I’m getting an incredible amount of reading done, I finally seem to be thinking clearly in regards to upcoming essays and assignments, and I no longer feel guilty about my decision to ‘take a year off’ before applying to grad school. (I hate calling it that anyway—as if one just stops existing outside of the institution.)
All in all, I’m feeling quite happy with the way things are going.
Despite having long come to terms with the fact that I may not be the most ‘emotionally stable’ or socially/emotionally equipped person (or, perhaps, I simply get too caught up those little inconvenient details that leave me rationally [and emotionally] crippled), I like to think that I’m passionate and grounded enough so as to move forward without being tied down by said shortcomings. This is the goal. I don’t know where, or who I’ll be in two years from now. But I gotta keep moving.
Today’s been a good day.